now, anybody here thinking of getting your first credit card? you should know there are sideeffects and these side effects may include --ballin' outta control at best buy.
Rooms To Go Credit Card, ballin' outta control at asecond best buy. when the lady at chipotle says,do you know guac is extra? you narrow your eyes and say,double guac me then, bro. getting your first bill andpaying the minimum payment.
getting your second bill andnoticing a box marked "interest" for the first time. throwing your credit card awayand pretending none of that ever happened. getting a reminder bill withmore interest, plus a past due fee. and the final side effect ofgetting your first credit card is moving back in with yourparents. (cheers and applause)anyone here thinking of being a
friend? you should know there are sideeffects and the side effects to being a friend are --no one telling you life was going to be this way. your job's a joke. you're broke. your love life's d.o.a. it's like you're always stuck insecond gear. it hasn't been your day, yourweek, your month, or even your
year. the final side effect to being afriend is jumping in a fountain for noreason. (cheers and applause)anyone here ever the first one to a party? you ever think of being thefirst one to a party? if you are thinking of being thefirst one to a party, you should know there are side effects andthose side effects may include --having to talk to roger the
host, who you don't even know. trying to figure out how youknow roger. or is it robert? i'll just call him "dude". having a 30 minute conversationwith "dude" and still not knowing how you know him. more people arrive, all of whomknow "dude" grabbing some salmon pate, and locking eyes with him. remembering you were both incollege, drunk and just
experimenting. the final side effect of beingthe first one to a party is wishing everyone could go homeso it can just be you and roger. it's definitely roger. (cheers and applause)now, this is one you will all certainly relate to this one. anyone thinking of trying to getfree stuff by mentioning it on a television show you host. (laughter)if you think you're getting free
stuff by mentioning it on atelevision show you host, you should snow there are sideeffects and they may include -- desperately craving therefreshing kick of stumptown cold brew coffee, whether i'mjust starting my day, or simply needing a pick-me-up during thatafter lunch lull. getting lost in a daydreamthinking about delicious shake shack cheeseburgers. with natural ingredients,delicious sides and just a little bit of that shake shackmagic .
it's where burger lovers go whenthey want a burger they'll love. staring out the window as abrand new ferrari 458 glides over the street. it looks cutting edge andeternal at the same time. who is that driving it? a movie star? an heiress? an international man of mystery? the mind wanders, but it's toolate, the brand new ferrari 458
is gone. blink and you might miss it --but was it all just a wonderful dream? the final side effect of tryingto get free stuff by mentioning on a television host yo -- showyou host is getting sent sandwiches from subway!
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